My Mom Decides to Speak

This is a funny thing that happened a couple years ago.

Men and Purses
Why Daurell won’t hold my purse.
September 7,2006

Where my mother lives right now is called Logan House on 1400 North in Logan. She has been there for a few years now and is reasonably comfortable there. She speaks very little and only knows those that see her very frequently (therefore NOT ME, yet she is always happy to see me) and even then seldom, if ever, calls anyone by name. The facility has a wing for active seniors, an area with assisted living and a wing for Alzheimer patients (which is a locked, tightly secured area). One often sees various degrees of aging moving about the corridors. My brother Mylan relayed this incident to me.

After having taken Mom out to a family get-together, Mylan returned her home and was walking her back to her cottage. Slowly they trundled down the long hallway to the North Cottage door. Coming in the other direction towards them was an elderly couple. The man appeared to be a loving, care giving husband helping his wife along. With one arm through hers, he held her purse with his free hand. Ordinarily, one would smile and say hello when passing in the hall like that, but, my mom had locked eyes on the man from a distance and as Mylan and Mother got close to the couple, Mom stopped, looked right at the man and said, “Sissy.”

Free Breakfast for Year

Free HBO’s from Comcast
Feb 15, 2008

Comcast is our internet, cable and phone service provider. I don’t know why we stay with them. It is always a hassle and is expensive (except I have to admit that I LOVE my cable guy, Johnny. He is prompt and helpful and gives me great advice on raising a boy.) One night I was on the phone with Comcast customer service haggling about what was wrong with the cable service. The rep I was talking to was trying really hard and was about as serviceable as they get, however, in going through all the trouble shooting he managed to mess up the cable even more so that we didn’t get any kind of reception. As an apology for our inconvenience he offered me free HBO (Home Box Office), a premium cable channel, for a year.

Robin was home for a short weekend shortly after that and as she was eating her all-time favorite cereal, Honey Bunches Oats, which she calls HBO’s, I told her the story that Comcast was giving us free HBO for a year. She lit up like when Matt LaFrandt asked her to Prom.
“FREE HBO’s FOR A YEAR!!!??? HOLY COW, MOM! TALK ABOUT SCORE!!...and wait...how did they know?”
I was puzzled. "How did they know what, Robin, and why would you be so excited about free HBO, you hardly live here." With great chagrin she said, “Mom! You know HBO’s my favorite cereal. Hmmmm, Comcast giving away free cereal, who knew life would get this good, hmmmm…that must be why those guys need to drive such big vans.”

LDS Film Festival

So, after having been in Rexburg, Lesa and I went down to Provo/Orem to the LDS Film Festival. We definitely got our fill of movies. Besides going to the festival we hit the $1 movies, which are unheard of around here, and got caught up on some we had missed when they were first released. The film festival was fun, though. In my old age, I am finding my eyes are ultra sensitive to light so after a movie when the lights came up, I needed to put on sunglasses so I could see and to keep them from flooding. After each movie the producers, directors, and actors did a Q and A time. I am now determined to be in a movie before I die, so, I made it a point to give out my card to the directors and producers I met. You can imagine the impression I made as a middle aged woman (yes, I plan to live to 104) in sunglasses, with a wool scarf (fashionably tied) and red gloves handing my card to the big fish in the little pond saying, "I'd love to be in one of your movies, give me a call, Dah-ling!" I could have pulled it off it Lesa hadn't been behind me laughing histerically.



One note about the "LDS" part of the film festival. One would think, as I did, that the content of the movies wouldn't be something with which to be concerned. One movie was so bad we walked out after 10 minutes. It was so dark and violent and evil about a guy being prepared for lethal injection with flashbacks of what he did to get to that point. It had Minnie Driver in it so we thought it would be good. It will be in theaters soon so DON'T go see it.....who of you just asked outloud, "What was the name of it?" I'm not going to tell you. Fortuantely it was the last show on the last night at 10pm and we were tired and glad to leave. Wouldn't you know, though, I actually talked to that producer before the show and he said he would love to work me into a movie and we would talk after the show. UGH! Lesa and I slipped out undetected but he does have my card. If he offers me a role in something with rainbows (okay, not rainbows) in something with ponies, picnics and a grandmother in splendid shoes with an Arkansas accent, I'm all over it. Especially if I can trip and fall. (I told him I do my own stunts.)

How Cold is Cold.....

Last week I went to Utah to go to the LDS Film Festival. I know, I know, there are a lot of you I should have called but due to the pressure of unseen movies waiting for me, I got distracted. First, though, with my two sisters, Jill and Lesa, and I went up to Rexburg to see Robin and go through the temple open house. We pulled into town late in the evening and stayed at a friend's house. Jill and Lesa hit the hay while I put on fresh chapstick to hit the college scene; ie: go visit Robin. The next morning we got up early to go through the temple before Robin's first class, only to step out door and be slapped in the face with minus 4 degree air with a wind chill of who-knows-what. It felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I was reminded of some words of advice from seasoned BYU-I students, that being: never sniff in freezing weather because ones nostrils will freeze shut until said person is indoors. I observed. We went to pick up Robin and she came skipping out in her cute, black, patent (sockless) flats, no hat, no gloves, no scarf but did have on coat. In response to my motherly gasps of objection, she said, "Oh Mom, this is nothing!" From the time I put on my coat, scarf and gloves that morning, I pretty much didn't take them off until I got home 5 days later. When we got back to Logan to drop off Jill, people were walking around in their shirt sleeves due to a heat wave. It had warmed up to 14 degrees. I have been away too long.

Relatively Speaking
Call me strange, but I like them.......
OCTOBER 2005

I’ve heard it said that relatives are like fish, after a few days they start to smell. If so, then it’s a smell I like and miss when it’s gone. Bring them on, I say, and the more the better. Like, my brother Mylan (and fam) for a weekend, such a treat, or when we used to do FHE's with Daurell's sisters, our kids looked forward to it, vacation with Corey and Mary, the best, Mark, Jen and the girls for Sunday dinner, such a delight, family reunions with either side, great memories. Laughing with Nalani, a favorite. Heart to heart’s with Sharon, memorable. I would enjoy vacation with any of Daurell’s family or any of mine any ole time. I could go on and on.......... Over the years the grown up nieces and nephews add such wonderful new dimensions to family gatherings that there is always something (or someone) new. I'm sure there are probably some who might consisder me more like fish, but for me the relatives are my first choice in company.

When I wrote this one I was felling all warm and fuzzy about how grateful I was for being born into such a great family and what a blessing it has been to have married into such a great family. Just because you are not mentioned does not mean I don't have great memories with you. Like when I french braided Carrie's hair...... And relatives include the few people not related by blood or marriage that started out as friends and became much more. Like those who take "taking the plunge" literally.

Made You Look, Made You Stare

About 4 years ago I decided to write my life history in the form of stories/experiences from the past and as they happened. Someday I will compile it all in a book for my children entitled "Life As I See It; Perspectives of Jana Bell". So tonight as I was perusing my various writings I decided I would pick one to post for my blog. All my Thanksgiving pictures are sitting snugly on my camera (I finally got it back from Amanda), so, when she can show me how to uplaod or download or overload them I will show you all that we had a TERRIFIC time at Keith and Barb's on Thanksgiving Day (and not just eating either, however that part was sure good too). Meanwhile I have selected the following experience from a year ago to share with you all. A day in my life...........

Made You Look, Made You Stare
How to make a famous person wonder who YOU are……..
December 10, 2006

Jay Buehner is a retired professional baseball player who played for the Mariners here in Seattle for many years. I’ve heard he lives somewhere on the Eastside. The other day I was coming home from Issaquah and was on the bridge over I90 when I glanced over and saw it was him in his car next to me at the stop light. He is bald, very white, (as in fair skinned) has a gotee and is a very familiar face around here to pretty much anyone who hasn’t lived in a bubble the last 10 years. It made me think about what it would be like to have people stare at you everywhere you go, even driving in the privacy of ones own car. In my car, I was listening to Les Miserables where Marius was singing dreamily to his newfound-and-bound-together-forever love, Cosette, saying,

“I don’t even know your name,.........dear Madmoiselle….”

The music from Les Miserables moves me deeply, without fail, every single time I listen to the sound track. At that moment, however, when I noticed it was Jay Buehner next to me, I got distracted from my private concert and wanted to gawk at the celebrity next to me so I could say I had my moment. Albeit, he was right there to the side of me, I didn’t want to be obvious about it, (which, contrary to public opinion, I can be subtle) and so I thought, “Hey! I ought to get you to stare at me, Mister All-Famous Think You Are So Hot Because You Are Bald and Rich and Famous and Everyone Knows Who You Are!!” Right then Dearest, Beloved, Marius drew my attention back to him as he sang with all the angst and passion of a bursting heart in love for the first time,

“My name is Marius Pontmercy….”

Then, with all the feeling, drama, arm motion and lip syncing ability I could muster I put on an Alone-In-the-Car, Favorite-Song-Playing show for Mr. Buehner right as Cosette sang back to Marius,

“……and mines Cosette.”
“Cosette, I don’t know what to say,”
“Then speak no sound…”
“I am lost…..”,
“I am found…”,

I could see out of the corner of my eye Mr. Baseball Boy (in his decked out, spotless, probably-got-it-free-for-being-famous, white, Ford Explorer) looking at me, smiling. He even nudged his wife to look at me. I had his full attention, had him staring at me and humored him for at least a full 15 seconds. Yes, it is true.


So, that is how you get a famous person to look at you and wonder who YOU are for a change. Admittedly, he didn’t roll his window down and take my picture or ask for my autograph, but, still, I had him for a moment.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, does it make you think?

In my other lives...

I took Carrie's idea, it made me laugh..........
1. My rock star name (first pet and current car): King Suburban
2. My gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor and favorite cookie): Brownie chunk Lu
3.My "fly girl" name (first initial of first name and first three letters of last name: J Bel
4.My detective name (favorite color and favorite animal): Purple Feret
5. My soap opera name (middle name and city where you were born): Lynn Logan
6. My Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name and first two letters of your first name): Belja
7. My superhero name (2nd favorite color and favorite drink with "The" in front): The Red Lemon (ade)
8. My Nascar name (first names of your grandfathers): Oscar Alonzo
9. My stripper name (name of your favorite perfume/cologne and your favorite candy): White Linen Turtle
10. My witness-protection name (mother's and father's middle names): Olson Orstrom